


True Proof

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Falling Skies
Genre: M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaq has figured out how to prove to Hal that he doesn't love him.  It's a genius plan, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	True Proof

“You love me,” Hal says, singsongy.  It’s fun to tease his boyfriend.

“No,” Shaq says.  “Volm do not feel love, especially not for humans.  They are a particularly irksome species.  You are especially irritating.”

“Uh huh,” Hal says, not convinced.  “That’s why we’ve been together for years now.  Because you secretly hate me.”

He doesn’t point out that Shaq could go back to his homeworld; Hal knows what’s too far.  It seems like as long as he’s with Hal, Shaq won’t even consider going home.  While Hal doesn’t understand why (Cochise seems eager to visit the Volm homeworld, and to bring his whole human family with him), he respects Shaq’s feelings. 

“I do not hate you,” Shaq says.  His hands are stretched over Hal’s back, holding him close.  “I merely find you irritating.”

“Sure thing,” Hal says, kissing Shaq’s bare shoulder.  “You totally don’t care about me, at all.”

“I am glad that you have finally figured my genuine feelings,” Shaq says. 

Hal snorts.  “And you still can’t recognize sarcasm.”

“It is irritating, like much of humanity,” Shaq says. 

“Love you too, babe,” Hal says. 

Shaq just grunts. 

Hal hums happily before pressing kisses to Shaq’s neck.  They just got done with round one, but he knows that they’ll both be ready for round two soon enough. 

Shaq slides one hand up his body to tangle in Hal’s hair.  While this is a pretty normal action, for some reason, Shaq’s body is tense underneath him.  Hal’s not sure what to think of that. 

“What’s wrong?” Hal murmurs.

“You insist that I experience the foolish human emotion called love,” Shaq says.

“Well, you sure act like it,” Hal says.

“I have devised the perfect way to demonstrate that I do not care for you at all,” Shaq says.

Hal props himself up on an elbow, eyebrows raised.  “Oh, really?”

“We should engage in the ridiculous human bonding ritual,” Shaq says.

Hal has to think for a second and then he squints.  “You mean get married?”

“Yes,” Shaq says.

Hal has to laugh, even as his stomach does a weird flip.  He had pretty much figured that there was no way they were going to get married.  Kind of a bummer, but marriage is far from the most important thing when it comes to a relationship.  That he knows that Shaq loves him and his family is more than enough.

But… there’s also something very appealing about standing up in front of his family and friends and telling them how much he loves this grumpy Volm asshole and that they’re going to be together for life.

“Let me get this straight.  You want to marry me to show me how much you don’t care about me?” Hal says.  “Do you not actually know what marriage is?”

“I am aware.  I was at your fathers’ wedding.  Chichauk was embarrassing in confessing his affection,” Shaq says.  “When I am completely unaffected at the wedding, perhaps you will finally understand that I do not love you at all.”

Hal is beaming as he leans down to kiss him, hard.  His dumb, rationalizing boyfriend.  Or fiancé, now.  “You’re supposed to get down on one knee to ask me to marry you.”

Shaq huffs and pushes Hal off of him.  He kneels at the side of the bed and glares up at him.  Hal is pretty sure that he’s having a fever dream.

“You are potentially the most irritating member of the most irritating species that I have ever come across.  I wish to demonstrate that despite your delusions, I do not love you at all.  Will you engage in this foolish human bonding ritual with me so that I can prove that I do not care for you?” Shaq asks.

Hal scoots to the edge of the bed, trying and failing not to grin.  “Yes!  I will definitely marry you, you grumpy asshole.”  He leans over to kiss Shaq’s forehead.

“Good,” Shaq says.  “You will finally understand my true feelings for you.”

“Yeah, I do,” Hal says, stroking Shaq’s cheek gently.  “God, you love me so much.  It’s hilarious.  And I love you, too.”

Shaq snorts and glares at him.  “You are truly Tom Mason’s least intelligent offspring.”

Hal shrugs.  “I managed to snag a Volm hottie, so I’m not doing too badly for myself.  You’re gonna have to get me a good ring, you know.  Two, actually.  One for the engagement and one for the wedding.”

“I know nothing about ridiculous human bonding rituals,” Shaq says. 

“We’ll get Ben to be your best man.  He’ll help you figure it out,” Hal says.  This will be hilarious, and he’ll owe Ben about a hundred favors.  Totally worth it.

“This is acceptable.  Ben is at least passably intelligent,” Shaq says, nodding.

Hal grins and kisses him again.  “We’re gonna get married!”

Shaq presses his lips to Hal’s thigh.  “Because I do not care about you at all.”

“Whatever you say, Shaq,” Hal says.  “Now, it’s time to celebrate this engagement properly.”

“That is acceptable, as long as you mean engaging in intercourse,” Shaq says. 

Shaq starts to pleasure him, and as Hal’s hands start to ball up in the sheets, all he can think about is how lucky he is. 


End file.
